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(1)
Wouldst thou, my soul, attempt to trace,
The goodness of thy God to thee?
Recall to mind His acts of grace,
For they are sovereign, great and free.
How shall my pen the task surmount,
to tell the love vouchsafed to me?
Or where begin the vast account,
Unless from all eternity?
Ere time began, His love design'd
To turn my feet to wisdom's way:
In deep revolvings of the mind,
I think of that auspicious day.
Early in life, it pleased my God
Who rules the world at His control,
To send an arrow dipp'd in blood,
That pierced me to the very soul.
I felt conviction seize my breast,
I strove the troubled sea to calm.
With prayers perform'd and sins confess'd,
Without the aid of Gilead's balm.
Thus without blood my wounds were heal'd,
Or rather hidden from my view;
While in my heart there lay conceal'd
Ten thousand sins I never knew.
Deluded thus, I still went on,
Felt no corruptions rise within;
My former lusts I thought were gone,
A cage of hateful birds unclean.
(2)
Enwrapped in ignorance profound,
I deemed myself a holy soul,
And stood aloof from all around,
And vainly thought my heart less foul.
Fond of my legal doings, now
I struggled hard to merit heav'n;
Too proud to sov'reign grace to bow,
Tinctured with Pharisaic leav'n.
Hard thoughts of God my mind possess'd,
I trembled at eternal fate,
And said, “Can God, for ever bless'd,
“His Jacob love, and Esau hate?”
Thus in rebellion oft I strove
Against the God who made me man,
Kicked hard against electing love,
And scoff'd at Mercy's sovereign plan.
Yet He, whose ways are in the deep,
Beyond the reach of mortal ken,
Hedged up my way a straggling sheep,
By pricking thorns and briars, then -
By slips and falls He made me prove,
How vile my nature through the fall;
How firm His everlasting love,
That saved me through and over all.
Here, could mind eyes weep tears of blood,
To Thee that sacrifice I'd pay;
Jesus, whose side poured forth a flood,
To bear my sin and curse away.
(3)
Oft I reflect upon that day,
And Thy abounding mercies sing,
When from the pit of miry clay,
My soul arose on eagle's wing.
From vessel oft to vessel thrown,
Lest I should settle on my lees;
Till led Jehovah's will to own,
Nor strive with His profound decrees.
When led to wrestle hard with God,
I deemed myself His favourite son;
Then I could stretch my hands abroad,
Nor feared to call the world my own.
But when, alas! My fleece was dry,
Chaotic darkness veil'd my mind;
So foolish and so vain was I,
To think that God had proved unkind.
To live by faith was strange to me,
Sense had long been my only fare;
Daily caress'd upon the knee,
As Zion's favourite children are.
At length my joys declined apace,
The clouds came low'ring o'r the sky,
My God appeared to hide his face,
And every spring of comfort dry.
Blasphemous thoughts my mind assail'd,
Dressed in the very flames of hell,
My hopes gave way and fear prevail'd,
To hear their dire infernal yell.
(4)
When on my couch I sought repose,
To lose my woes in slumber there,
What horrid imprecations rose,
To sink my soul in foul despair.
And when my waking thoughts were led
The sun's returning light to see,
“Curse God and die,” the tempter said,
“'Twill evermore be thus with thee.”
Deep call'd to deep, I trembling stood,
And said “My God remember me;
“Why o'er my head still rolls this flood
“When shall my soul deliv'rance see?”
Thus toss'd with tempests to and fro,
At last my shipwreck'd vessel drove,
Not to the gulf of endless woe,
But to the haven of his love.
Bright o'er my head broke forth the sun,
The winds were hush'd and smooth the sea;
While Jesus, with His glories on,
My sorrows did in love repay.
My hope within the veil was cast,
In His dear flesh its grip took hold;
And mourn'd my sins and sorrows past,
In tears of love and joy untold.
For all Thy love and grace made known,
To Thee, my God, I'm debtor still;
Desire to live to Thee alone,
And learn obedience to Thy will.
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