The Pastor's Letter (May 1979)
Dear Friends,
As most of us realise, alongside the joy and pleasure of endeavouring to rear up our children in the fear and nurture of the Lord, there is that great measure of responsibility that compels us ever to be watchful in this task and privilege that God has given to us. Many able and worthwhile words have been written on the subject, and, no doubt, many more will be written before the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ leaves this world of ours.
There is just one particular aspect of the question that I would like to mention in our few lines for this month. It is an aspect that is, perhaps, best briefly mentioned in order to fasten the thought of it more firmly in our hearts and minds; it is an aspect that is, perhaps, not mentioned much at all, or considered much at all, by some parents in the rearing of their children; it is the issue of “self-righteousness,” and the danger of unrebuked self-righteousness in the make-up of those who are the offspring of believing mothers and fathers.
What we mean is this: how do we react to outward manifestations of sin in our children? Our reaction runs along fairly typical lines: we receive shock, register surprise or disgust, administer rebuke or punishment as the case might be, etc. Our little Tommy or Mary suddenly lets drop some choice word or phrase picked-up in the playground, and it hits our ears like an unguided missile. Just how we deal with the situation varies, but one thing is sure, we feel that we must deal with it, even if it only means ignoring it for the time being. The point is, the committing of the sin has registered with us, and we feel compelled to try and deal with it – nip it in the bud, curb it, or whatever. In that “bad word” we have witnessed sin in our child, clearly read it as sin, and decided on some course of action on account of it. The same thing applies with lies, or stealing, or cheating, or a dozen-and-one other accepted manifestations of the sin question. When we see or hear our children sinning, we endeavour to take some course of action to deal with that sin.
But what about our children’s self-righteousness? Do we fully recognise self-righteousness as a sin? And are we spiritually astute enough to recognise some of the traits of it when it appears in the young lives for which we are made responsible?
Children are born mimics, and the children of Christians can very often mimic the things of the Spirit of God which they see in their believing parents. This is quite natural, and it is not, of itself, necessarily wrong, especially in the very young children. However, it can conceivably develop into a hypo-critical charade and fill the “growing” child with that greatest of all sins for keeping men and women away from the true saving grace of the gospel – self -righteousness. Do we sufficiently appreciate that enough at times? - that the sin of self-righteousness is one of the cardinal sins of the Word of God? Blasphemy and drunkenness have slain their thousands, but self-righteousness its tens of thousands. It is that inbred feature of fallen human nature that will not submit itself to the only accepted and acceptable righteousness that there is, in Jesus Christ our Lord. It is the spirit of the Pharisee that says, “I thank God that I am not like other men;” and it can begin at a fairly early age with the children of Christians believing that they are not like other children. As far as privilege goes, believers’ children have an apartness that is not to be minimised in any way; but with regards to position before a Holy God, they are the “children of wrath even as others.”
As we endeavour to turn our children from sin to righteousness, let us remember that one of the greatest of all sins that they need turned from is their own nature-bred self-righteousness. To endeavour to turn them from that is one of those God-given ways of the Word of God to turn them to seek that true righteousness in the Lord our Righteousness Himself. Do we rebuke sin in the children that the Lord has given to us? Then, we do, indeed, what we ought to do. But do we recognise sin for the many-headed monster that it is, and do we realise that one of the hardest heads to remove is the one that bears the face of apparent grace upon it? In this, as in all things, may the Lord be our helper and grant us grace in our every need.