One feature that apparently characterised both the Ministers and members of the churches in Scotland in a bye-gone age, but which seems to have fallen into some disuse, was the ready repartee that was constantly being exchanged between pulpit and pew. The almost-equal degree of success that was enjoyed by the one in “putting the other right” can be judged from the following anecdotes from“The Kirk and its Worthies”.
After Dr. Thomson of Markinch had delivered an impressive discourse on the text, “Look not on the wine when it is red in the cup,” two drouthy chiels, on the way home, overhauled the sermon. “What thought ye o't?” asked one, by way of introducing the subject. “'Deed, Davie,” said the other, “I'm mair inclined to criticise the minister than the sermon.”
“Ay, and what do ye make o' the minister?” “Oh, just this: I think he's been a gey lad in his day, or he couldna say sae muckle about the bit dram. Davie, my man, take the word of an auld man; he's a slee hand, the minister!”
There is a great deal of human nature in the inductive process of reasoning here employed, for it served to render the two worthies impervious to the personal application of the sermon, “Thou art the man!”
Dr. Kidston enjoyed the reputation of being “a hard hitter,” and he was worthy of the reputation, as may be gathered from the following dialogue:
“How did he get on the day?” an auld wife was asked on her way home by one who had not been able to be at church.
“How did he get on? He just stood and threw stanes at us, an' never missed with ane o' them. My certie, but yon was preaching!”
Another description of “Something like preaching” is contained in the enthusiastic language of a farmer's wife. “My John, yon was something for a body to bring away: nine heads and twenty particulars to ilka head! And such mouthfu's of grand words! Oh man, John, but it was grand, and would do us all muckle guid if we could mind anything o't.”
About the beginning of the nineteenth century, there resided in Glasgow a certain James Bell who had a great reputation as a caustic critic of the ministry. He is said to have advised a budding clergyman as follows: “Never begin two days following in the same strain, and if you should happen to be at a loss try to get up a bit greet. If you can do that, your fortun's made. There's anither thing ye might remember wi' advantage in the pulpit - find fault wi' the translation o' the scriptures. Tear't in bits. Then ye'll be considered a second Solomon. Ye might wi' advantage find out a hidden meaning in your text; it will, maybe, be easier for you to do that than to find out the real one! Amang a' the books o' the Bible there's yin taken up by a heap o' fools, an' that is the book of Revelation. Be cautious about meddlin' wi' it, for ye may mak' a fool o' yourself. But if ye must meddle wi' it, just tak' a trip up an' doon amang the seven kirks o' Asia; but dinna gang beyond them”.
Dr. Risk, of Dalserf, was visited by a deputation from his church who announced that they wanted to “converse” with him. “Upon what subject?” asked the Doctor, who belonged to the old Moderate party in the church. “About your preaching, Doctor.” “About my preaching! What do you have to say about that?” “Weel, we dinna think ye tell us enough about renouncing our ain righteousness.” “Renouncing your ain righteousness!” exclaimed the minister, in astonishment, “I never knew that ye had any righteousness to renounce!”
It must have been during a sleepy period in the church that the story is told of a minister who stopped in the middle of his sermon, and addressing one of his hearers personally, asked, “Are ye hearin' John?” “Ay, I'm hearin', minister,” came the unexpected reply, “but to very little purpose!”
Different ministers had different ways of tackling this sore subject. Dr. Lawson tried mild remonstrance, and found it wonderfully effective. No angry rebuke did he administer; he simply ceased speaking for a minute, and when the bowed heads were raised and the wondering eyes were “at attention,” the Doctor quietly asked, “Are ye not a strange people? When I speak, ye sleep; and when I cease to speak, ye waken up!”
This Page Title – Hanging the Plumb on Pulpit and Pew The Wicket Gate Magazine "A Continuing Witness". Internet Edition number 93 – placed on line November 2011 Magazine web address – www.wicketgate.co.uk |